Title: Close to nowhere

I tried to let go of you, I feel you hold on lightly
every time I  walk from you, it's getting easy each time
it's haunting the way you've got this hold on me
it's haunting the way your eyes are so dull now

I don't wanna be alone, and you don't wanna be in love
we're running in circles, arguing just because
that's all we've become, such negative devotion
we're tearing each other apart, yet to go through the emotion of giving up
and I just can't
I just can't


I wanna get close to you, get closer
I wanna feel your body bare next to mine
want to hear the way you used to laugh
see the way your eyes used to light up when I'd answer the door
all I want is for you to want to make this work
for you to want to make things better


we sit in such silence, uncomfortable and into the unknown
we don't make the effort anymore
I've never felt so alone but by your body
it's like we're both in neutral, coasting along empty land
we barely pass words to each other
and we're too tired all the time


we're going backwards, with each day that passes
my stomach full with sadness
knowing you don't want this
knowing you don't want me
knowing I was never enough


I wanna get closer to you, fill in this space here
I miss feeling your body, bare and next to mine
the way I curl up on your chest and hear your heart just beating
wish that your eyes would be bright again, wish that I'd see that smile again
the genuine emotions that have been long gone

Title: For him.

There's an ache in the air
my body sways to the breeze
it's empty in your heart
it's empty in your mind, or so it seems


I am troubled, so very wrapped up in cynical beliefs
my mind plays tricks on me, paranoia will be the death of me


I keep pushing through the darkness
pushing through the rocks to find you
I keep pushing through the darkness
pushing through the gaps to find you


there's a atmosphere between us
you could cut with a knife
it's like this big build up of tension
like we wanna kiss but all we do is fight


and I am hoping that you'll see past the madness that ex lovers caused me
my heart it sings to your melody, that voice of yours will always leave me weak


I keep pushing through the darkness
pushing through the rocks to find you
I keep pushing through the darkness
pushing through the gaps to find you


I could kiss your lips a thousand times
it'll never be enough for me, dear
I could touch your body all over
show you how beautiful you are to me


I keep dancing through the doubts
hacking at the hope of a forever with you
I have never felt such love
I promise I will be here for you

Title: Woe

Undress my mind with your seductive lies
you can never seem to find what you're looking for
you could stand in awe for hours, encouraging my flaws but I've no message for you

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, if you let me go now you won't ever get to hold her
she's not looking for commitment, yet I'm here willing to commit
you undress me with your woeful eyes and now it's all pretty clear
we're folding and melting, folding into shapes to suit another
and we all become a dust, each body is the same
and we all become a dust, each body is the same


take me by my hand, lead me toward the sofa
undress me with those woeful eyes the ones that catch me by surprise
each time you wish I was her
each time I wish I was different


I said I'd look after you, never harm you, never make you worry
but darling it's so hard when you are hypocritically doing the stuff I never wanted
you twist my arm each time we fight and make me always forgive you
I'm tired of these sleepless nights knowing you're not dreaming of me


undress my mind with your lies
lace my body in your secrets
you'll never get tired of being behind my back
each day the knife gets thinner


take me by my hand, lead me towards the promise
each time you come nearer I wish my soul was buried deep in the forest
surrounding by a breeze of fresh cold air
I could finally breathe
I could finally be free again

Title: You

My days are broken up by the dreams of girls I'll never be

and when my nights are cold I try to think of you laying with me

the coldness of my sheets have left me struggling to breathe

but I'm still holding on, holding onto you

It's been days since I've woke up in a panicked mess

you come around and act like you've never been away

but all I know is the minutes I'm waiting for you to call

am I too much for you? why would you even bother at all?

why are the hours so long whilst I wait to see you

to be back in your arms, my home

they're all I know

the days apart are taking their toll on our love

the distance it makes me wonder

when will I ever

be enough, be enough

when will I ever

get to feel your touch

every night 

will that day ever come for us?

why do I bother

waiting around?

when seem so fucking blasé about what we've found here

and is this just you? a cold wall to talk to

is there any warmth under there that I can drain out

is it just me?

am I too plain?

is it just me?

am I just gonna be a part-time thing

I'm getting so tired of having to wait to come home

come home, come home to you

the days apart are taking their toll on our love

the distance it makes me wonder

when will I ever

be enough, be enough

when will I ever

get to feel your touch

every night 

will that day ever come for us?

last night I dreamt that we were laughing in your house

and the only time we had to say goodbye was short-term

am I the only one who has these dreams

am I the only one who feels this way about us?

the days apart are taking their toll on our love

the distance it makes me wonder

when will I ever

be enough, be enough

when will I ever

get to feel your touch

every night 

will that day ever come for us?

maybe it's me

maybe it's because I'm not her

maybe it's me

maybe it's because I give too much

maybe it's you

you don't know how you feel about us

maybe it's time, it's time to give it up

Title: Grit

I'll never congratulate your misfortunes
I'll never let go of what we've discovered here
I'll never let your heart get broken
I'll never let you down, like the ones before


you say you've been hurt so many times
you've forgotten how to love a love like mine
and still I'm holding on incase it gets better
and still I'm wondering if you'll stick around


it's been so long, my love
it's been so long
your inconsolable at times, your mind so warped from all the girls who did you wrong
but still you carry on, you carry on


I can't quite compare you to anyone I've had in my sheets before
you have a lust a passion I just want more of
and still I'm wondering if this is all we are
when we are naked and wrapped around each other


I have never loved like this before
my whole body aches and throbs right into my core
you make me feel like I can feel some warmth again
so used to coldness, dark and trying not to let him win

it's been so long, my love
it's been so very long
and we are stronger now we've been through it all
I apologise for all my late night dreams
I apologise for all my late night seams coming undone


I have never wanted anything this much
than coming home to you and giving you my love
the way you look at me as I slowly undress
the way you grit your teeth as I try and digest
all the love you give to me every day

Title: Anyway

You say it anyway
I can't believe it's done
your words cut through me darling and still you are the one

you say it anyway
I can't hold back much more
yet still you are the only one who leaves my body sore
I'm wrapped up in the hope that we will last
I've spent several months in nightmares so we could forget the past
you still wonder,  how I will ever forgive
but I promise you that I have tried and still I want to give you all of my love


our naked bodies clash
we've bruised all that our bones have become
I'm dripping for you now
my tears inconsolable


you say it anyway
and still you are the one
I don't know why we argue
when we're raw and seeing the sun
the only string of light that dangles like a treat towards a dog
I'm down on all fours ready to give you all I have
and still you wonder


my heart in-between your very teeth
you're biting down harder with each attempt I make to breathe
and this pain curses my whole body
little did I know you're still fooling around

our naked bodies clash
we've bruised all that our bones have become
I'm dripping for you now
my tears inconsolable


you say it anyway
I know that you're a liar
I'm always being played for being the one who never stops the fire from burning out


our naked bodies clash, for the last time
I've bruised and cut my skin for your pleasure
I'm dripping for you now
soaked in my own sadness


I can't believe my luck
it's always the other who says I fuck it up
but these words are left unspoken
with every breath I am hurting
these words are lingering on your tongue

Title: 4am Insomniac Thoughts

As you rest, as you lay there dreaming
I'm battling thoughts about you leaving
I lay awake wondering when I'll ever be a priority
as you rest, I hope that you won't forget me
when I finally find the courage


you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?

your hands could be responsible for feelings I desire to know,
the complications of love leave stains upon my porcelain body
and are you leaving?
because it feels as though I've already lost you
are you leaving?


I settle in rough tides, you crave a calm life
I am sailing, drifting in clearer waters than ever before
I hope that my body will one day sink like lead
my body slowly unravelling to my hearts shore

you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?


I still dream of us
I sleep with you stroking my hair from within my pillow
the pillow that saves all these precious minutes where I'm with you
I dream of sleep, I crave rest, to be rested with you
I dream of us, finally somewhere


I open my eyes and I'm still not next to you,
I guess that destiny lies in the hands that will eventually set me free
your hands linger, they have a stench of cold effort


you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?

Title: Cut Open

I'm a fool, for wanting your untouched emotion
your arms always so cold and so distant, wrap me in all that you could ever give
we lay for hours just silent, I never know what's truly on your mind
we lay for hours in pure silence, it's the loudest quiet I've ever known


my heart is open, my heart always loving
I've never been so exhausted of giving all I have to give
and I've never wanted a man like this before
no I've never loved a man


can I ask you? can I ask you what has always been on my mind?
what is it you're wanting from me?
what is it I'm giving you?
why is it that you're still so cold?


I'm a trigger for trouble,
each second that passes is laced in the breath that I waste
I am but an empty vessel
carrying an abundance of love and warmth for you, always for you


my heart is open, my heart always loving
I've never been exhausted of giving all I have to give
and I've never wanted a man like this before
no I've never loved a man


when will I hear truth in your voice? and warmth in your touch?
your words are just emptiness now, they're just so tough to consume
my body so fragile, from rations of affection
my body so fragile, your words just cut right through



I'll never be what anyone desires,
I'll never be what anyone truly loves
I am so disgusted with myself
when will I ever be enough?
I try and try, I try and I try again
an uphill battle that I have no energy for

Title: For you, from me

I can smell it on your skin
I can taste it in your mouth
you've been thinking again
you won't tell me what about

I'm trying to trust you
but you're making it hard
you keep hiding things from me
you're keeping me in the dark

I wish you'd just tell me what you want
whether it's me or someone else
I wish you'd just talk to me about everything
open up to me

I know you find it difficult
and I know I make it hard
but my darling, you should try
I love you, deeply, I

Chorus: can't remember, the last time you told me how you felt
I can't recall the feeling of excitement as it's my name your lips call
and I'll always be in love with you, the way you hold yourself
but I wish that you would understand
that it's you who's hurting myself

I never wanted to distrust you
and I hope I have no reason to
but there's something that doesn't sit right with me
and it's past the paranoia and black noise

I want you to know you're the light of my life
and that everything sucks without you
I want you to feel my hearts happiness when I'm by your side
I'll happily waste my days with you
I'll happily waste away with you
as long as I am by your side
I can't think of a better day to suffer

Chorus


It's so cliche, but I don't know what I'd do without you
except I really mean it, I don't know what I'd do
I'm hung up on you, I'll be yours until you abandon me
you make my days a bit brighter
and you help me feel pretty again
even though I'll never agree

Chorus

End: you've made me feel better
you've recovered all that I assumed was lost
you've mended my broken thoughts
and I'll try to trust you, sweetheart
and I'll love you with everything I have, I hope you don't mind

Title: Attempt

Wrapped up, in each of your lies
the way you just casually tell them to me
and you say I'm meant to trust you?

you give me the sweet talk
with words like honey
drizzled in softly spoken heart ache
and I can't help but wonder if it's really you that's saying it
because I've heard it too many times from too many lovers lips

I know that I've got a lot I need to learn
I know that it's me that needs to change
but you must admit, my dearest love
that you don't really help me at all
I'm always unsure and doubtful of the way you feel
of the way you keep everything a secret
of the way you never tell me what's going on


Chorus: I'm ever so ambitious
to think that you really do care
I'm ever so suspicious
I create situations in my mind that I know will occur
and I can't believe that you are still here
how long will it take before you leave?
I'm ever so delirious
to think that it's me you want
to think that it's me you love


I'm attempting to better myself
and I hope you appreciate me for doing so
and I'm improving every flaw that is sewn together with hopeful thoughts
I hope you never hurt me like the first
I hope you never let me down
I don't think you realise how much I lost and sacrificed for the last man



the way you talk when we're together
but the words you say when we're apart
they're intertwined with confusion
and it makes me question each thing that's left your lips
I don't think you realise how much you mess me around


Chorus


I want to try and make it better
but I don't think you'll love me much longer
I want to try and be less bitter
but I don't think you'll stick around


Chorus


End: I'll try my upmost best
to always be in your good books
because then maybe you'll see a future with less grey clouds
and maybe I'll trust the way you speak and trust the love you took

Title: First Priority

I long to come alive, to never be alone
I'd do anything to call your name
to understand you better
to be able to just simply hold you
to be able to just simply love you better


whenever, wherever you need me to be
I'll try my upmost best to let you come closer, to get closer to me
whatever it takes to get to know this love better
to know myself again


this is the interlude
the loudness of comfortable silence
and the way that I move whenever you're present
the way my mind stops thinking

Chorus: you make me feel whole again,
like this is all i've ever needed
I'd give it all just to hold you tighter
I'd give it all just to hold you closely
I'll happily die in your arms tonight
knowing that this feels so right
that I am whole again
that you fixed me


if you want me to go,
I'll leave
there's no way that I'll ever hurt you
I just want you to be mine, and mine only
in the same way that I am yours
x2


I'll take care of you, you know that
you'll always be my first priority
and I will always dream of you


Chorus


End: you already mean so much, more than you'll ever appreciate
with your arms around my waist, there really is no better place
and this is the interlude
the loudness of our comfortable silence


and I'll do anything to keep you wanting me

Title: Hot sex

Take me to the place I know best
where most tired eyes and aching bodies go to rest
I'll wrap myself around you, my legs tight around your waist
I'll take my time, I'll take you all in
you don't know how much I want you
how much I've wanted this

let's slow things down,
I want to taste you
you'll be begging me to stop
I'll be begging you to come
to just let go


just when I think you've had enough of my teasing
of my big eyed stare as I start on your tip
you pull me closer
you tell me what you want


Chorus: I want you,
I want you
I want all of you, every inch
inside and around me
holding me close and feeling my pounding heart
feeling my grinding body
I want you to notice how hard I'm going
how passionate it is


let's slow things down,
I want to feel you
I want to kiss down your body
taste the tension and excitement through your skin

Chorus


End: and after drips of my success run down my face
I showed you how much I want you
you filled me up, filled me up with warmth and admiration
and only minutes later, I want to do it all over again

Title: Lately

I feel your skin, electric
I feel you all over me
inside every inch
our lip harshly intertwine
please tell me how I better myself
please tell me where I go
I keep giving it all, just to love myself
I keep giving it all just to love you

no one before you
you, the rising sun in my aching body
I'm so happy that I get to hold you
and I keep losing and giving it all
just to let you cut a little deeper
let you see who I really am

It's always been there
chemistry galloping in the background
a white noise so silent
we chose to ignore
and I never saw this coming
I never thought I'd love again
and I keep giving and losing it all
just to let you come within
let you come a bit closer

I see the flawed parts of you
far from anything I've held with heavy hands
I'm sewn together with doubts and kind intentions
but, you and I know, how much love I have to give
and how often I take pride in at all

I'm giving it all
body and soul
to love you
to love you
to love you

Title: Cold Pores

I want to give you what you deserve
but why are you choosing me?
I'm not the only choice
so thank you for trying to make me your number one


I want to give you all you deserve
but there's just one thing
why are you choosing me?
I'm not the only one


I want to keep you warm on a cold night
and we've talked about our highs and lows
and what goes up must come down, as you know
I've been in a better place


Chorus: I must admit that all the time I gave you
I can no longer wait for approval
I want you, to really want me too
and I want you to really need me
because I'm forever feeling that it's all one sided
that all my love never sinks into your cold pores


don't trade me
I never thought that I would have the nerve to
tell you all that's within my head
don't trade me in for her
don't trade me in for anyone


Chorus


End: I can't wait to have you back with me
but I can see that you're starting to wish you'll see the back of me
and I don't want to lose this
I don't want to make this fall apart
I just really need you to need me, to want me
as much as I ever could for you

Title: Luck

I watch your body give in,
give in to the exhaustion of your long dull days
I realise how much my heart belongs to you
you have my full love, always


I honestly feel like I've been here, by your side and in your arms
for much longer than I've been truly alive, truly breathing,
truly taking in every little thing that you have to offer
it feels like I've known you all my life
the natural abilities of our bodies and minds
the way we got so comfortable



Chorus: I've been waiting for a being like you
someone so pure and patient
someone so understanding
I've been loving so deeply
the wrong heart might I add
but you know now
it's you I always wanted
it was you all along
the proof is in the way we are
the way we are


to be completely honest
to be completely content
all I need is you
x2

Chorus


End: all my love, always so pure and demanding
I'll be here waiting for you
until you let my love go
until you give in to the impatience

Title: Let me take you all in

It flickers, sways, gets lost in the grooves

as I fall deeper into the flaws of you

the parts of you no one else admired

I wish I could say with ease, with no complexity

how much I need, want, crave, love, care for you

it hits me hard, like nausea

the type that won't go until you allow it to sink in

I can't believe how patient you've been

how loyal to my broken mind

you tried to teach me how to listen

I tried to find someone like you in 1000 different ways

I tried to change how my brain functions

and even though I said to you that I can work hard to grow

you tried to teach me to listen

but I turned it all away

I tried to stop this in hundreds of ways

to allow us to get the things we are missing

and I can feel your soul, i can see the sun as it glows

Chorus: slowly, slow, slow down

let me take you all in

slowly, slow, slow down

let the love pour in

and even though I said to you I can feel your soul, I can feel our love as it grows

even though I said to you, I'd try harder to not feel so low

slowly, slow, slow down

let me take you all in

you tried to teach me to listen

but I turned it all away

I tried to stop this in hundreds of ways

to allow us to get the things we are missing

and I can feel your soul, i can see the sun as it glows

Chorus

End: even though I said to you

even though I proved to you

even though I try until I'm exhausted for you

I want our love to grow

I want our time to show

and I can never wait until you're back again

Title: Mind Creations

You always leave, when I need you the most
you'll never know what's inside my head
I'm waiting for you to understand the darkness inside my mind
the way is subsides whenever you are near
the way you stare at me, like I'm broken but you can fix me
I'm forever fragile
I'm forever fretting


so why don't you ever stay?
I'm always waiting for you to come home
spend some of your precious time with me, one day, won't you?
will you ever?


I go through daily battles,
to be stronger for you
to deny any situations I've created and believe in
I go through battles for you
so that I can understand myself better
so that I can keep you with me
so that you'll still love me, even if a little


Chorus: your gentle lips, your voice that soothes my misshapen heart
it's all in the way that you move, the reassurance in every motion
I kept you away for so long, I made the wrong move
and why did I do so,
when you're my world now, you mute these demons inside


I go through daily battles,
to be stronger for you
to deny any situations that I've created and believe in
I don't do it on purpose, I promise you
it's a built in flaw
one of which you know plenty of now
and I'm so so sorry

Chorus


End: will you ever come home to me, darling?
will I ever come home to you?
I hate waiting to be where I belong
will you ever come home to me, only me, darling?

Title: Talk Sense

If you talk enough sense
I completely lose my mind
you are my focal point, I don't want to lose sight of all I want
I'm in deeper than I thought I ever could, and I love you more than I thought I ever would
If you talk enough sense
I completely lose my mind


I found love,
you're too patient, too kind, too reassuring
for it is my broken mind, my broken heart that prevents us from being content
right in front of me, you talk sense to me
and I absorb it like I absorb the knife that seeks my skin
I found love
no need to cut anymore


this is the love I've been given,
this is the love I've long craved for
you're everything I've ever wanted
this is the love I need to hold onto
the love I need to prove


Chorus: if you ever lock me out,
if you ever have had enough
please have the knowledge that I love you, always
my fear is always my downfall
and if you ever have had enough
please don't lock me out
I will keep on trying
until I am fixed


I've been attempting, so many times
to ignore all the voices inside my paranoid mind
to ignore all the pain behind my past
and please trust me, confide in me, when I tell you what's going on
to be able to do so, scares me completely
but for you I am trying, trying to prove

Chorus


End: I'll take this love you've given,
I'll take good care of you my darling
and I'm so sorry for everything
for every day
for each hour that I'm quiet, deeply  thinking
about how to improve, about how to do better
for you
for you

Title: I couldn't want you anyway

Hard times are coming,
and all my friends are nowhere to be seen
I'm in the dark again, in the dark alone
all my good friends don't understand
my heart and eyes keep hoping that the darkness will be gone


my thoughts are full and plenty
of misery and consistent battles
it's no wonder I'm thinking really deeply
when you're better off
when you're better off
when you're better off

Chorus: All I do is drag you down,
you didn't want me anyway
don't even keep reminding me that this is a big mistake
please be aware I've been trying so hard not to break
now let me go, now let me go
there's nothing left for you here anymore
you didn't want me anyway


don't keep this fire burning,
when the fuel is long gone
we'll wait until the world stops spinning
until you realise that things are wrong
don't keep this fire burning
when the fuel is long gone
we'll wait until the world stops spinning
until I'm gone

I couldn't watch you anyway
your profile pulls my heart closer, until it's almost ripped out of my skin
I'll keep my hope in my darkness
and let me my mind get worse
I know that my broken heart has let this love rest

Chorus

And I couldn't have you anyway
not to myself, not ever
I watched this love fall apart
just like my first
and I couldn't have you any other way
now that I've lost my mind
now that I don't know what I am anymore

Title: Eyes off

You offer light
but it's so dark inside my mind, in many ways
when I'm alone with you I feel so alive
when you leave my side I ache, for you to come on home to me
but I can't make you mine

I've said it before
and I'll say it all over again
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't believe how lucky I am
I can't take my eyes off you
I soak in the light you give
and you give me light every single day

you fix me, you started slowly and then all at once
I'm addicted to feeling alive
dear god I hope this lasts
I want to make you feel whole again
I want to make you feel love again
you're my recovery
a different kind of serotonin

but I always knew, I always knew I'd love you
I can feel it coming so clearly
I can feel you already there
you're running around my head
and I can't keep up
you're running around my head

you fix me, you started slowly and then all at once
I'm addicted to feeling alive
dear god I hope this lasts
I want to make you feel whole again
I want to make you feel love again
you're my recovery
a different kind of serotonin


just a feeling
just a feeling
I won't give up on you
I promise I always knew
I always knew
it was you