Title: For him.

There's an ache in the air
my body sways to the breeze
it's empty in your heart
it's empty in your mind, or so it seems


I am troubled, so very wrapped up in cynical beliefs
my mind plays tricks on me, paranoia will be the death of me


I keep pushing through the darkness
pushing through the rocks to find you
I keep pushing through the darkness
pushing through the gaps to find you


there's a atmosphere between us
you could cut with a knife
it's like this big build up of tension
like we wanna kiss but all we do is fight


and I am hoping that you'll see past the madness that ex lovers caused me
my heart it sings to your melody, that voice of yours will always leave me weak


I keep pushing through the darkness
pushing through the rocks to find you
I keep pushing through the darkness
pushing through the gaps to find you


I could kiss your lips a thousand times
it'll never be enough for me, dear
I could touch your body all over
show you how beautiful you are to me


I keep dancing through the doubts
hacking at the hope of a forever with you
I have never felt such love
I promise I will be here for you

Title: Heated

I lay on the table
undressed but still clothes in all my fear
you're taking your time boy
you're making me want you more each minute


I can't quite understand you yet
but this lust is all I'm needing
I can't quite understand you yet
but this lust is so deceiving


I'm on all fours
your hands they grab every part of me
and this isn't love
but what does it matter
you're killing me


I can't quite understand you yet
but you're on my mind, all the time
I can't quite understand you yet
but you're on my mind and I'm ready to let it go
I'm ready to let it go


my muscles start to relax
the ice cubes melting
the heat of this moment is burning me
but I kind of like it, pain and pleasure

I'm on your bed
the sheets are slowly drifting
my body writhes
and yet you still haven't been in me


I can't quite understand you yet
but you're on my mind
even when I'm with someone else
I feel your grind

Title: Grit

I'll never congratulate your misfortunes
I'll never let go of what we've discovered here
I'll never let your heart get broken
I'll never let you down, like the ones before


you say you've been hurt so many times
you've forgotten how to love a love like mine
and still I'm holding on incase it gets better
and still I'm wondering if you'll stick around


it's been so long, my love
it's been so long
your inconsolable at times, your mind so warped from all the girls who did you wrong
but still you carry on, you carry on


I can't quite compare you to anyone I've had in my sheets before
you have a lust a passion I just want more of
and still I'm wondering if this is all we are
when we are naked and wrapped around each other


I have never loved like this before
my whole body aches and throbs right into my core
you make me feel like I can feel some warmth again
so used to coldness, dark and trying not to let him win

it's been so long, my love
it's been so very long
and we are stronger now we've been through it all
I apologise for all my late night dreams
I apologise for all my late night seams coming undone


I have never wanted anything this much
than coming home to you and giving you my love
the way you look at me as I slowly undress
the way you grit your teeth as I try and digest
all the love you give to me every day

Title: 4am Insomniac Thoughts

As you rest, as you lay there dreaming
I'm battling thoughts about you leaving
I lay awake wondering when I'll ever be a priority
as you rest, I hope that you won't forget me
when I finally find the courage


you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?

your hands could be responsible for feelings I desire to know,
the complications of love leave stains upon my porcelain body
and are you leaving?
because it feels as though I've already lost you
are you leaving?


I settle in rough tides, you crave a calm life
I am sailing, drifting in clearer waters than ever before
I hope that my body will one day sink like lead
my body slowly unravelling to my hearts shore

you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?


I still dream of us
I sleep with you stroking my hair from within my pillow
the pillow that saves all these precious minutes where I'm with you
I dream of sleep, I crave rest, to be rested with you
I dream of us, finally somewhere


I open my eyes and I'm still not next to you,
I guess that destiny lies in the hands that will eventually set me free
your hands linger, they have a stench of cold effort


you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?

Title: Cut Open

I'm a fool, for wanting your untouched emotion
your arms always so cold and so distant, wrap me in all that you could ever give
we lay for hours just silent, I never know what's truly on your mind
we lay for hours in pure silence, it's the loudest quiet I've ever known


my heart is open, my heart always loving
I've never been so exhausted of giving all I have to give
and I've never wanted a man like this before
no I've never loved a man


can I ask you? can I ask you what has always been on my mind?
what is it you're wanting from me?
what is it I'm giving you?
why is it that you're still so cold?


I'm a trigger for trouble,
each second that passes is laced in the breath that I waste
I am but an empty vessel
carrying an abundance of love and warmth for you, always for you


my heart is open, my heart always loving
I've never been exhausted of giving all I have to give
and I've never wanted a man like this before
no I've never loved a man


when will I hear truth in your voice? and warmth in your touch?
your words are just emptiness now, they're just so tough to consume
my body so fragile, from rations of affection
my body so fragile, your words just cut right through



I'll never be what anyone desires,
I'll never be what anyone truly loves
I am so disgusted with myself
when will I ever be enough?
I try and try, I try and I try again
an uphill battle that I have no energy for

Title: For you, from me

I can smell it on your skin
I can taste it in your mouth
you've been thinking again
you won't tell me what about

I'm trying to trust you
but you're making it hard
you keep hiding things from me
you're keeping me in the dark

I wish you'd just tell me what you want
whether it's me or someone else
I wish you'd just talk to me about everything
open up to me

I know you find it difficult
and I know I make it hard
but my darling, you should try
I love you, deeply, I

Chorus: can't remember, the last time you told me how you felt
I can't recall the feeling of excitement as it's my name your lips call
and I'll always be in love with you, the way you hold yourself
but I wish that you would understand
that it's you who's hurting myself

I never wanted to distrust you
and I hope I have no reason to
but there's something that doesn't sit right with me
and it's past the paranoia and black noise

I want you to know you're the light of my life
and that everything sucks without you
I want you to feel my hearts happiness when I'm by your side
I'll happily waste my days with you
I'll happily waste away with you
as long as I am by your side
I can't think of a better day to suffer

Chorus


It's so cliche, but I don't know what I'd do without you
except I really mean it, I don't know what I'd do
I'm hung up on you, I'll be yours until you abandon me
you make my days a bit brighter
and you help me feel pretty again
even though I'll never agree

Chorus

End: you've made me feel better
you've recovered all that I assumed was lost
you've mended my broken thoughts
and I'll try to trust you, sweetheart
and I'll love you with everything I have, I hope you don't mind

Title: Hot sex

Take me to the place I know best
where most tired eyes and aching bodies go to rest
I'll wrap myself around you, my legs tight around your waist
I'll take my time, I'll take you all in
you don't know how much I want you
how much I've wanted this

let's slow things down,
I want to taste you
you'll be begging me to stop
I'll be begging you to come
to just let go


just when I think you've had enough of my teasing
of my big eyed stare as I start on your tip
you pull me closer
you tell me what you want


Chorus: I want you,
I want you
I want all of you, every inch
inside and around me
holding me close and feeling my pounding heart
feeling my grinding body
I want you to notice how hard I'm going
how passionate it is


let's slow things down,
I want to feel you
I want to kiss down your body
taste the tension and excitement through your skin

Chorus


End: and after drips of my success run down my face
I showed you how much I want you
you filled me up, filled me up with warmth and admiration
and only minutes later, I want to do it all over again

Title: Lately

I feel your skin, electric
I feel you all over me
inside every inch
our lip harshly intertwine
please tell me how I better myself
please tell me where I go
I keep giving it all, just to love myself
I keep giving it all just to love you

no one before you
you, the rising sun in my aching body
I'm so happy that I get to hold you
and I keep losing and giving it all
just to let you cut a little deeper
let you see who I really am

It's always been there
chemistry galloping in the background
a white noise so silent
we chose to ignore
and I never saw this coming
I never thought I'd love again
and I keep giving and losing it all
just to let you come within
let you come a bit closer

I see the flawed parts of you
far from anything I've held with heavy hands
I'm sewn together with doubts and kind intentions
but, you and I know, how much love I have to give
and how often I take pride in at all

I'm giving it all
body and soul
to love you
to love you
to love you

Title: Cold Pores

I want to give you what you deserve
but why are you choosing me?
I'm not the only choice
so thank you for trying to make me your number one


I want to give you all you deserve
but there's just one thing
why are you choosing me?
I'm not the only one


I want to keep you warm on a cold night
and we've talked about our highs and lows
and what goes up must come down, as you know
I've been in a better place


Chorus: I must admit that all the time I gave you
I can no longer wait for approval
I want you, to really want me too
and I want you to really need me
because I'm forever feeling that it's all one sided
that all my love never sinks into your cold pores


don't trade me
I never thought that I would have the nerve to
tell you all that's within my head
don't trade me in for her
don't trade me in for anyone


Chorus


End: I can't wait to have you back with me
but I can see that you're starting to wish you'll see the back of me
and I don't want to lose this
I don't want to make this fall apart
I just really need you to need me, to want me
as much as I ever could for you

Title: Talk Sense

If you talk enough sense
I completely lose my mind
you are my focal point, I don't want to lose sight of all I want
I'm in deeper than I thought I ever could, and I love you more than I thought I ever would
If you talk enough sense
I completely lose my mind


I found love,
you're too patient, too kind, too reassuring
for it is my broken mind, my broken heart that prevents us from being content
right in front of me, you talk sense to me
and I absorb it like I absorb the knife that seeks my skin
I found love
no need to cut anymore


this is the love I've been given,
this is the love I've long craved for
you're everything I've ever wanted
this is the love I need to hold onto
the love I need to prove


Chorus: if you ever lock me out,
if you ever have had enough
please have the knowledge that I love you, always
my fear is always my downfall
and if you ever have had enough
please don't lock me out
I will keep on trying
until I am fixed


I've been attempting, so many times
to ignore all the voices inside my paranoid mind
to ignore all the pain behind my past
and please trust me, confide in me, when I tell you what's going on
to be able to do so, scares me completely
but for you I am trying, trying to prove

Chorus


End: I'll take this love you've given,
I'll take good care of you my darling
and I'm so sorry for everything
for every day
for each hour that I'm quiet, deeply  thinking
about how to improve, about how to do better
for you
for you

Title: Come

Come to me,
I'll show you where we can be safe
where no one will find us
where we can finally be alone
come to me, come back to me

you're breaking my heart, each time
it's hard to get used to happiness, I know
but I have faith, a little faith in you and I
so come to me, come closer
let yourself come

I keep on, wearing myself out
improving past lessons
letting my guard down
I'll put you first, my love
I'll always love you
even though you may lose patience for me

of course I trust you
there's not reason why I shouldn't
please know that I love you
with all I have in my aching soul and bones

you're breaking my heart, each time
it's hard to get used to happiness, I know
but I have faith, a little faith in you and I
so come to me, come closer
let yourself come


you're breaking my heart
each time I let you in
each time we get closer
but please come closer to me
let yourself come

Title: Love Lost

I'm letting go, I'd rather be myself than nothing
I'm always getting misunderstood
and there's nothing better than disappointment
letting go of pain, betrayal and misery
you drained me like a tumour, my first love

I wish I understood you,
I wish I understood what exactly it was I needed to do
to make you mine, actually mine

I pretended I was enough
I always called your bluff
I felt nothing from your touch
unreadable, your expressions giving mixed signals

used to the cold shoulder,
I bury myself in the passionate sex
I never knew any different
there never would have been a good time to lose you
everyday was a silent battle
I loved you, I hope you know that

I wish I understood you,
I wish I understood what exactly it was I needed to do
to make you mine, actually mine

It's so beautiful, letting go
first love, isn't everything
you were a lesson learnt
a year I got lost in
a year I will never forget

Title: Seperate

I could sense the doubts within your voice
as your hesitant tongue played with your words
and as you held me close, for the last time
I knew that this would never last
I knew that we were always undone

I never thought that I would have to miss you
I never thought you'd give me up, let me go
but we're apart now
another lesson learned
I hope you find what you're looking for
everything I could have been
everything I was and more

you promised me a life, a future
that was everything to me
but still, you break me once more
you betrayed me once again


I waited for you to change,
I was told you can't change people
I was patient, gave you chances that no one else would give
but you never made it right, you never made up for it
but yet I always hoped we'd be safe

yet, still, I'm waiting
yet, still, I'm waiting
on you again, you again

you promised me a life, a future
that was everything to me
but still, you break me once more
you betrayed me once again

stranger things are coming my way,
apart, alone, but I live in better days
less suffocated, less controlling, a better way to remain
I never thought you'd leave me
I never though I'd have to miss you
and one day I hope you see all I gave to you
and one day I hope you call

Title: Betrayed

I breathe you in, you spit me out
I touch your skin, rough with betrayal
you stroke my hand, I feel numb
is this really all we've become?
just two bodies, nothing more to hold

I gave you my all
you gave me nothing but doubts
you made me something to you
but it was never enough
I wish I knew why you broke me so, why you hurt me so

I expected more than this
all we have is elusive
I wanted all of this, at the beginning you promised more than this
yet all I gained from you was disappointment

I have learnt to be less loyal, less kind
my mending scars bind doubt and fear together
you have taught me all that first love should never teach
but here I am, moving on and letting go of the tears beneath my burdened sheets

and sweetheart, what exactly did I do
I deserved your love, your time, your affection
and all I got for closure was nothing more than the love you gave to me


this heartbreak of mine
I would have never have been enough
I gave you everything I had
and what future did I imagine with you?
there was no such thing

Title: Better

I wish I was stronger than this
you're promising nothing more than lies
I wish I was stronger than us
you're acting out of character, again

I won't believe your empty words, ever again
I won't think that you mean them, anymore
I can't help but think that this is all just false love
I wouldn't like to think it's real

you're not a man
because men would not do what you did
you're not man
because men would take care of me, always
you're still a child
you only think about yourself, my dear
but, why? but, why?
do I love you so

Chorus: Each time I catch my breath
and become certain of what I want
just one look at you
I'm back to falling
each time I catch my strength
just one look at you
I'm back to being on my knees
wanting to stay with you

I can't help myself
I can't help myself to you
you're disappointingly pleasing
I can't help myself
I can't stop the way I feel
you're bitterly annoying
but, why?
do I love you so

chorus


ending: each time you make mistakes
each time I'm not wanted
could there be a duller day?
this love has left me haunted
remorseful of saying no
remorseful of second chances
but I give to you what I can
not what you deserve

Title: From what we started

I want to be your all, your first priority
I can't believe how much you've changed
your promises of who I thought you would be
who you never were and what a shame

you say that things will get easier, but I don't faith
and it's just a pathetic game, you're playing me
you say that you love me dearly, darling
but we both know that you don't really love at all

how could I care
how could I stay here
how could I care
how could I stay here with you

Chorus: It's just another love
soon to pass
a phase I'm going through
I hope it doesn't last
I'm tired of never being good enough
I'm tired of feeling cold within your touch
it's just another love
soon to pass, I hope at last
this phase I'm in
keeps me drowning within all the lies you kept
all the hidden messages
secrecy is shameful, surely you have learnt from this?

why do I want to stay?
why do I not hate you one bit?
why do I remain the same?
when you change at any given moment

I don't want to be around you
but I hate being not by your side
I don't want to kiss you anymore
it just tears apart my walls I've built inside

chorus

ending: why does it hurt this way?
could you stop changing my string of thoughts
why does it hurt this much?
could it be you're not enough
even though I can't walk away
from what we started

Title: when/enough

There's so much to say to you
where do I begin?
you promised me so many delicate words, before we picked up our pace
and it seems so far away, the empty promises you threw away
and there are words within words
that keep my mind rotating, so many thoughts that begin fires in my mind
and my insecurities keep on sinking deeper
I swallow my tongue and choke on what I want to tell you

I could never be happy
but I hope you are
you seem to be doing so well
you seem to be managing
and I'm still fading away
slowly edging out of this cold companionship

Chorus: when will it be enough?
when will I be enough?
I can't wait around for you to accept me
I can't watch you talk to her like that
you don't think, you just do
you never think, you just do

if it's not all serious
secrecy, hidden lust
why do you always take it further
why are you always pulling the trigger

chorus

ending: and if it's meant for us
we'll be together another time
and if I really mean that much
we'll be together for the better times

Title: You, you

This guilt, guilt, guilt
is eating me up, up, up
ever so slowly
catching me in my weakness
basking in glory
this guilt, guilt, guilt
is eating me up, up, up
ever so willingly
catching me and basking in glory

I can't keep up with all this doubt
inside my head right now
self inflicted love, gone
the less we talk, the less I crave
but I can't make you take the blame
when all I can do is love love you so deeply

Chorus: And it takes me
far away, and soaks my bones in what we have
and it takes me, ever so gently
with warmer hands and the coldest of hearts
and I never want to part from you, no
I don't want  to know how I'd do, without you
without you by my side

I find it hard how you seem to cope without me
and get by just fine, with a lonely night
your scent lingers on my pillows and it's the best sleeping aid
I've had so far, you're the best so far

and it eats me whole
grinds me down
can you feel it?
can you hear me now?
x2

chorus

ending: and I can't not kiss your skin
I can't tell you it's going to be alright
you're the demon of my nights
and I want to keep you forever
but how do I know whether you'll leave my sight?
do you want to, darling?

Title: Less I give

Your love ain't fair
you just don't care
your love ain't fair
you just don't care

and I'm waiting for you
what do you do, what are you doing?
are you too busy to love me?
and you wanting something more?
are you too busy to want me?
are you all I've been waiting for?

Chorus: doubts, give them up for me
I'm weighed by the world of worries
you carry, you carry me
you carry, you carry me


gently we kiss
harshly we hold, one another
I give it to you, I give it all up
so we can love each other

and I would do
anything to have you
right where I want you
want you back, for good

chorus

the less I give
the more you demand
and I can't keep up with your needy emotions
and I can't deliver what you're always hoping for

I pull you in
you pull away
and the shame sinks in my bones
and I pull you in
you pull me away
and the shame sinks in my bones

chorus

ending: you carry me
with words of hope
and I'm ending things slowly
one worry at a time, darling

Title: Leave

Why can't I keep you?
safe in my arms
I could never leave you
I hope that I'm somewhere in your heart
and I realise, dear
I'm in this way too much, much
and I realise, my biggest fear
it hurts when we touch

I can't carry on like this
when I know that you'll be the end of me
darling, are you going to leave me?
I feel that I'm wasting each day, counting down the moments when you're gone
do you find it hard to stay the night?
I've walked miles to untie the doubts in my mind

Chorus: I want to take some time
to make things right
and it doesn't matter how you feel
I know you think the same, you are the same as I
and I was warned that I would never be put first
I was warned I'd be second best
but I want to take some time
so darling, are you gonna leave me?
please don't do so, so soon

my heart is burning by the bed for you
and I'm pushed into the side lines again, like you do
and imagination haunts me in mirrors, like you do
and my skin painted dark and blue
representing my thoughts of you

please don't leave
don't ever go far away
I can't deal with separation
I don't want this loss of love

chorus

ending: and from the start
I told you I'd be here through thick and thin
and I promised I'd love you, with every inch of my skin
you promised the same, and I know you didn't mean it
because here we are, fighting to keep this