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Wednesday 27 May 2015

Title: 4am Insomniac Thoughts

As you rest, as you lay there dreaming
I'm battling thoughts about you leaving
I lay awake wondering when I'll ever be a priority
as you rest, I hope that you won't forget me
when I finally find the courage


you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?

your hands could be responsible for feelings I desire to know,
the complications of love leave stains upon my porcelain body
and are you leaving?
because it feels as though I've already lost you
are you leaving?


I settle in rough tides, you crave a calm life
I am sailing, drifting in clearer waters than ever before
I hope that my body will one day sink like lead
my body slowly unravelling to my hearts shore

you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?


I still dream of us
I sleep with you stroking my hair from within my pillow
the pillow that saves all these precious minutes where I'm with you
I dream of sleep, I crave rest, to be rested with you
I dream of us, finally somewhere


I open my eyes and I'm still not next to you,
I guess that destiny lies in the hands that will eventually set me free
your hands linger, they have a stench of cold effort


you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?


Title: Cut Open

I'm a fool, for wanting your untouched emotion
your arms always so cold and so distant, wrap me in all that you could ever give
we lay for hours just silent, I never know what's truly on your mind
we lay for hours in pure silence, it's the loudest quiet I've ever known


my heart is open, my heart always loving
I've never been so exhausted of giving all I have to give
and I've never wanted a man like this before
no I've never loved a man


can I ask you? can I ask you what has always been on my mind?
what is it you're wanting from me?
what is it I'm giving you?
why is it that you're still so cold?


I'm a trigger for trouble,
each second that passes is laced in the breath that I waste
I am but an empty vessel
carrying an abundance of love and warmth for you, always for you


my heart is open, my heart always loving
I've never been exhausted of giving all I have to give
and I've never wanted a man like this before
no I've never loved a man


when will I hear truth in your voice? and warmth in your touch?
your words are just emptiness now, they're just so tough to consume
my body so fragile, from rations of affection
my body so fragile, your words just cut right through



I'll never be what anyone desires,
I'll never be what anyone truly loves
I am so disgusted with myself
when will I ever be enough?
I try and try, I try and I try again
an uphill battle that I have no energy for