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Monday 30 November 2015

Title: For him.

There's an ache in the air
my body sways to the breeze
it's empty in your heart
it's empty in your mind, or so it seems


I am troubled, so very wrapped up in cynical beliefs
my mind plays tricks on me, paranoia will be the death of me


I keep pushing through the darkness
pushing through the rocks to find you
I keep pushing through the darkness
pushing through the gaps to find you


there's a atmosphere between us
you could cut with a knife
it's like this big build up of tension
like we wanna kiss but all we do is fight


and I am hoping that you'll see past the madness that ex lovers caused me
my heart it sings to your melody, that voice of yours will always leave me weak


I keep pushing through the darkness
pushing through the rocks to find you
I keep pushing through the darkness
pushing through the gaps to find you


I could kiss your lips a thousand times
it'll never be enough for me, dear
I could touch your body all over
show you how beautiful you are to me


I keep dancing through the doubts
hacking at the hope of a forever with you
I have never felt such love
I promise I will be here for you


Title: Light Home

The light way home
and still I wonder if you'll uncover
the darkness in my soul, the place which I ruled the depths of it all

you left me there with no warmth, no hope now
your eyes light up to someone else's call
a beckon you'll always be
that one person you said not to worry about at all

and now I'm split in two
I've spent all my time running
trying to discover how we could make this work again and again
trust's betrayal, my old friend once more
the closest i've come to holding on
is slicing my hands on the remnants of you


you kiss my hand and your words run deep into my veins
you say it's the last time that we'll see each other again
for your mind is elsewhere, your heart singing to another voice



I wipe my cheeks, tears stain my porcelain skin
I'll always wait here for you, by the phone
hoping you will ring, hoping you will stall this darkness once more



I knew this would end,
they say nothing lasts forever
it was written in the way you didn't want to touch me anymore
it was written in the way you never looked at me too long
the way your face just stayed neutral




and now I'm split in two
sewing myself up with lies and empty promise
and I'd let you fuck me over again
you're the light that distracts my darkness


Title: Woe

Undress my mind with your seductive lies
you can never seem to find what you're looking for
you could stand in awe for hours, encouraging my flaws but I've no message for you

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, if you let me go now you won't ever get to hold her
she's not looking for commitment, yet I'm here willing to commit
you undress me with your woeful eyes and now it's all pretty clear
we're folding and melting, folding into shapes to suit another
and we all become a dust, each body is the same
and we all become a dust, each body is the same


take me by my hand, lead me toward the sofa
undress me with those woeful eyes the ones that catch me by surprise
each time you wish I was her
each time I wish I was different


I said I'd look after you, never harm you, never make you worry
but darling it's so hard when you are hypocritically doing the stuff I never wanted
you twist my arm each time we fight and make me always forgive you
I'm tired of these sleepless nights knowing you're not dreaming of me


undress my mind with your lies
lace my body in your secrets
you'll never get tired of being behind my back
each day the knife gets thinner


take me by my hand, lead me towards the promise
each time you come nearer I wish my soul was buried deep in the forest
surrounding by a breeze of fresh cold air
I could finally breathe
I could finally be free again





Wednesday 28 October 2015

Title: You

My days are broken up by the dreams of girls I'll never be
and when my nights are cold I try to think of you laying with me
the coldness of my sheets have left me struggling to breathe
but I'm still holding on, holding onto you


It's been days since I've woke up in a panicked mess
you come around and act like you've never been away
but all I know is the minutes I'm waiting for you to call
am I too much for you? why would you even bother at all?


why are the hours so long whilst I wait to see you
to be back in your arms, my home
they're all I know


the days apart are taking their toll on our love
the distance it makes me wonder
when will I ever
be enough, be enough
when will I ever
get to feel your touch
every night 
will that day ever come for us?



why do I bother
waiting around?
when seem so fucking blasé about what we've found here
and is this just you? a cold wall to talk to
is there any warmth under there that I can drain out


is it just me?
am I too plain?
is it just me?
am I just gonna be a part-time thing
I'm getting so tired of having to wait to come home
come home, come home to you



the days apart are taking their toll on our love
the distance it makes me wonder
when will I ever
be enough, be enough
when will I ever
get to feel your touch
every night 
will that day ever come for us?


last night I dreamt that we were laughing in your house
and the only time we had to say goodbye was short-term
am I the only one who has these dreams
am I the only one who feels this way about us?



the days apart are taking their toll on our love
the distance it makes me wonder
when will I ever
be enough, be enough
when will I ever
get to feel your touch
every night 
will that day ever come for us?


maybe it's me
maybe it's because I'm not her
maybe it's me
maybe it's because I give too much

maybe it's you
you don't know how you feel about us
maybe it's time, it's time to give it up


Title: Unspoken Truths

Every woman has had a bad man in their life
and mine was treating me wrong
so foolish and unkind
to deserve the marks of your big man hands
all over my thighs


bruised, black and blue
I'm sure you can relate
and when I'm alone now
the dark makes me irate


I remember the feeling of love
the warmth from your laugh
the way that you used to hold my hand
as we walked through the park


bruised, black and blue
my body your canvas to break
I'm all alone now
and it is better this way


setting free,
running as fast as my feet will carry me
setting free
running as fast as my feet will carry me


Title: Heated

I lay on the table
undressed but still clothes in all my fear
you're taking your time boy
you're making me want you more each minute


I can't quite understand you yet
but this lust is all I'm needing
I can't quite understand you yet
but this lust is so deceiving


I'm on all fours
your hands they grab every part of me
and this isn't love
but what does it matter
you're killing me


I can't quite understand you yet
but you're on my mind, all the time
I can't quite understand you yet
but you're on my mind and I'm ready to let it go
I'm ready to let it go


my muscles start to relax
the ice cubes melting
the heat of this moment is burning me
but I kind of like it, pain and pleasure

I'm on your bed
the sheets are slowly drifting
my body writhes
and yet you still haven't been in me


I can't quite understand you yet
but you're on my mind
even when I'm with someone else
I feel your grind



Title: Grit

I'll never congratulate your misfortunes
I'll never let go of what we've discovered here
I'll never let your heart get broken
I'll never let you down, like the ones before


you say you've been hurt so many times
you've forgotten how to love a love like mine
and still I'm holding on incase it gets better
and still I'm wondering if you'll stick around


it's been so long, my love
it's been so long
your inconsolable at times, your mind so warped from all the girls who did you wrong
but still you carry on, you carry on


I can't quite compare you to anyone I've had in my sheets before
you have a lust a passion I just want more of
and still I'm wondering if this is all we are
when we are naked and wrapped around each other


I have never loved like this before
my whole body aches and throbs right into my core
you make me feel like I can feel some warmth again
so used to coldness, dark and trying not to let him win

it's been so long, my love
it's been so very long
and we are stronger now we've been through it all
I apologise for all my late night dreams
I apologise for all my late night seams coming undone


I have never wanted anything this much
than coming home to you and giving you my love
the way you look at me as I slowly undress
the way you grit your teeth as I try and digest
all the love you give to me every day



Title: Anyway

You say it anyway
I can't believe it's done
your words cut through me darling and still you are the one

you say it anyway
I can't hold back much more
yet still you are the only one who leaves my body sore
I'm wrapped up in the hope that we will last
I've spent several months in nightmares so we could forget the past
you still wonder,  how I will ever forgive
but I promise you that I have tried and still I want to give you all of my love


our naked bodies clash
we've bruised all that our bones have become
I'm dripping for you now
my tears inconsolable


you say it anyway
and still you are the one
I don't know why we argue
when we're raw and seeing the sun
the only string of light that dangles like a treat towards a dog
I'm down on all fours ready to give you all I have
and still you wonder


my heart in-between your very teeth
you're biting down harder with each attempt I make to breathe
and this pain curses my whole body
little did I know you're still fooling around

our naked bodies clash
we've bruised all that our bones have become
I'm dripping for you now
my tears inconsolable


you say it anyway
I know that you're a liar
I'm always being played for being the one who never stops the fire from burning out


our naked bodies clash, for the last time
I've bruised and cut my skin for your pleasure
I'm dripping for you now
soaked in my own sadness


I can't believe my luck
it's always the other who says I fuck it up
but these words are left unspoken
with every breath I am hurting
these words are lingering on your tongue





Wednesday 27 May 2015

Title: 4am Insomniac Thoughts

As you rest, as you lay there dreaming
I'm battling thoughts about you leaving
I lay awake wondering when I'll ever be a priority
as you rest, I hope that you won't forget me
when I finally find the courage


you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?

your hands could be responsible for feelings I desire to know,
the complications of love leave stains upon my porcelain body
and are you leaving?
because it feels as though I've already lost you
are you leaving?


I settle in rough tides, you crave a calm life
I am sailing, drifting in clearer waters than ever before
I hope that my body will one day sink like lead
my body slowly unravelling to my hearts shore

you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?


I still dream of us
I sleep with you stroking my hair from within my pillow
the pillow that saves all these precious minutes where I'm with you
I dream of sleep, I crave rest, to be rested with you
I dream of us, finally somewhere


I open my eyes and I'm still not next to you,
I guess that destiny lies in the hands that will eventually set me free
your hands linger, they have a stench of cold effort


you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?


Title: Cut Open

I'm a fool, for wanting your untouched emotion
your arms always so cold and so distant, wrap me in all that you could ever give
we lay for hours just silent, I never know what's truly on your mind
we lay for hours in pure silence, it's the loudest quiet I've ever known


my heart is open, my heart always loving
I've never been so exhausted of giving all I have to give
and I've never wanted a man like this before
no I've never loved a man


can I ask you? can I ask you what has always been on my mind?
what is it you're wanting from me?
what is it I'm giving you?
why is it that you're still so cold?


I'm a trigger for trouble,
each second that passes is laced in the breath that I waste
I am but an empty vessel
carrying an abundance of love and warmth for you, always for you


my heart is open, my heart always loving
I've never been exhausted of giving all I have to give
and I've never wanted a man like this before
no I've never loved a man


when will I hear truth in your voice? and warmth in your touch?
your words are just emptiness now, they're just so tough to consume
my body so fragile, from rations of affection
my body so fragile, your words just cut right through



I'll never be what anyone desires,
I'll never be what anyone truly loves
I am so disgusted with myself
when will I ever be enough?
I try and try, I try and I try again
an uphill battle that I have no energy for


Wednesday 14 January 2015

Title: For you, from me

I can smell it on your skin
I can taste it in your mouth
you've been thinking again
you won't tell me what about

I'm trying to trust you
but you're making it hard
you keep hiding things from me
you're keeping me in the dark

I wish you'd just tell me what you want
whether it's me or someone else
I wish you'd just talk to me about everything
open up to me

I know you find it difficult
and I know I make it hard
but my darling, you should try
I love you, deeply, I

Chorus: can't remember, the last time you told me how you felt
I can't recall the feeling of excitement as it's my name your lips call
and I'll always be in love with you, the way you hold yourself
but I wish that you would understand
that it's you who's hurting myself

I never wanted to distrust you
and I hope I have no reason to
but there's something that doesn't sit right with me
and it's past the paranoia and black noise

I want you to know you're the light of my life
and that everything sucks without you
I want you to feel my hearts happiness when I'm by your side
I'll happily waste my days with you
I'll happily waste away with you
as long as I am by your side
I can't think of a better day to suffer

Chorus


It's so cliche, but I don't know what I'd do without you
except I really mean it, I don't know what I'd do
I'm hung up on you, I'll be yours until you abandon me
you make my days a bit brighter
and you help me feel pretty again
even though I'll never agree

Chorus

End: you've made me feel better
you've recovered all that I assumed was lost
you've mended my broken thoughts
and I'll try to trust you, sweetheart
and I'll love you with everything I have, I hope you don't mind

Title: Attempt

Wrapped up, in each of your lies
the way you just casually tell them to me
and you say I'm meant to trust you?

you give me the sweet talk
with words like honey
drizzled in softly spoken heart ache
and I can't help but wonder if it's really you that's saying it
because I've heard it too many times from too many lovers lips

I know that I've got a lot I need to learn
I know that it's me that needs to change
but you must admit, my dearest love
that you don't really help me at all
I'm always unsure and doubtful of the way you feel
of the way you keep everything a secret
of the way you never tell me what's going on


Chorus: I'm ever so ambitious
to think that you really do care
I'm ever so suspicious
I create situations in my mind that I know will occur
and I can't believe that you are still here
how long will it take before you leave?
I'm ever so delirious
to think that it's me you want
to think that it's me you love


I'm attempting to better myself
and I hope you appreciate me for doing so
and I'm improving every flaw that is sewn together with hopeful thoughts
I hope you never hurt me like the first
I hope you never let me down
I don't think you realise how much I lost and sacrificed for the last man



the way you talk when we're together
but the words you say when we're apart
they're intertwined with confusion
and it makes me question each thing that's left your lips
I don't think you realise how much you mess me around


Chorus


I want to try and make it better
but I don't think you'll love me much longer
I want to try and be less bitter
but I don't think you'll stick around


Chorus


End: I'll try my upmost best
to always be in your good books
because then maybe you'll see a future with less grey clouds
and maybe I'll trust the way you speak and trust the love you took