Title: Grit

I'll never congratulate your misfortunes
I'll never let go of what we've discovered here
I'll never let your heart get broken
I'll never let you down, like the ones before


you say you've been hurt so many times
you've forgotten how to love a love like mine
and still I'm holding on incase it gets better
and still I'm wondering if you'll stick around


it's been so long, my love
it's been so long
your inconsolable at times, your mind so warped from all the girls who did you wrong
but still you carry on, you carry on


I can't quite compare you to anyone I've had in my sheets before
you have a lust a passion I just want more of
and still I'm wondering if this is all we are
when we are naked and wrapped around each other


I have never loved like this before
my whole body aches and throbs right into my core
you make me feel like I can feel some warmth again
so used to coldness, dark and trying not to let him win

it's been so long, my love
it's been so very long
and we are stronger now we've been through it all
I apologise for all my late night dreams
I apologise for all my late night seams coming undone


I have never wanted anything this much
than coming home to you and giving you my love
the way you look at me as I slowly undress
the way you grit your teeth as I try and digest
all the love you give to me every day

Title: Anyway

You say it anyway
I can't believe it's done
your words cut through me darling and still you are the one

you say it anyway
I can't hold back much more
yet still you are the only one who leaves my body sore
I'm wrapped up in the hope that we will last
I've spent several months in nightmares so we could forget the past
you still wonder,  how I will ever forgive
but I promise you that I have tried and still I want to give you all of my love


our naked bodies clash
we've bruised all that our bones have become
I'm dripping for you now
my tears inconsolable


you say it anyway
and still you are the one
I don't know why we argue
when we're raw and seeing the sun
the only string of light that dangles like a treat towards a dog
I'm down on all fours ready to give you all I have
and still you wonder


my heart in-between your very teeth
you're biting down harder with each attempt I make to breathe
and this pain curses my whole body
little did I know you're still fooling around

our naked bodies clash
we've bruised all that our bones have become
I'm dripping for you now
my tears inconsolable


you say it anyway
I know that you're a liar
I'm always being played for being the one who never stops the fire from burning out


our naked bodies clash, for the last time
I've bruised and cut my skin for your pleasure
I'm dripping for you now
soaked in my own sadness


I can't believe my luck
it's always the other who says I fuck it up
but these words are left unspoken
with every breath I am hurting
these words are lingering on your tongue

Title: 4am Insomniac Thoughts

As you rest, as you lay there dreaming
I'm battling thoughts about you leaving
I lay awake wondering when I'll ever be a priority
as you rest, I hope that you won't forget me
when I finally find the courage


you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?

your hands could be responsible for feelings I desire to know,
the complications of love leave stains upon my porcelain body
and are you leaving?
because it feels as though I've already lost you
are you leaving?


I settle in rough tides, you crave a calm life
I am sailing, drifting in clearer waters than ever before
I hope that my body will one day sink like lead
my body slowly unravelling to my hearts shore

you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?


I still dream of us
I sleep with you stroking my hair from within my pillow
the pillow that saves all these precious minutes where I'm with you
I dream of sleep, I crave rest, to be rested with you
I dream of us, finally somewhere


I open my eyes and I'm still not next to you,
I guess that destiny lies in the hands that will eventually set me free
your hands linger, they have a stench of cold effort


you're elusive, and I'm awake
when will you set me free?
when will you love completely?

Title: Cut Open

I'm a fool, for wanting your untouched emotion
your arms always so cold and so distant, wrap me in all that you could ever give
we lay for hours just silent, I never know what's truly on your mind
we lay for hours in pure silence, it's the loudest quiet I've ever known


my heart is open, my heart always loving
I've never been so exhausted of giving all I have to give
and I've never wanted a man like this before
no I've never loved a man


can I ask you? can I ask you what has always been on my mind?
what is it you're wanting from me?
what is it I'm giving you?
why is it that you're still so cold?


I'm a trigger for trouble,
each second that passes is laced in the breath that I waste
I am but an empty vessel
carrying an abundance of love and warmth for you, always for you


my heart is open, my heart always loving
I've never been exhausted of giving all I have to give
and I've never wanted a man like this before
no I've never loved a man


when will I hear truth in your voice? and warmth in your touch?
your words are just emptiness now, they're just so tough to consume
my body so fragile, from rations of affection
my body so fragile, your words just cut right through



I'll never be what anyone desires,
I'll never be what anyone truly loves
I am so disgusted with myself
when will I ever be enough?
I try and try, I try and I try again
an uphill battle that I have no energy for

Title: For you, from me

I can smell it on your skin
I can taste it in your mouth
you've been thinking again
you won't tell me what about

I'm trying to trust you
but you're making it hard
you keep hiding things from me
you're keeping me in the dark

I wish you'd just tell me what you want
whether it's me or someone else
I wish you'd just talk to me about everything
open up to me

I know you find it difficult
and I know I make it hard
but my darling, you should try
I love you, deeply, I

Chorus: can't remember, the last time you told me how you felt
I can't recall the feeling of excitement as it's my name your lips call
and I'll always be in love with you, the way you hold yourself
but I wish that you would understand
that it's you who's hurting myself

I never wanted to distrust you
and I hope I have no reason to
but there's something that doesn't sit right with me
and it's past the paranoia and black noise

I want you to know you're the light of my life
and that everything sucks without you
I want you to feel my hearts happiness when I'm by your side
I'll happily waste my days with you
I'll happily waste away with you
as long as I am by your side
I can't think of a better day to suffer

Chorus


It's so cliche, but I don't know what I'd do without you
except I really mean it, I don't know what I'd do
I'm hung up on you, I'll be yours until you abandon me
you make my days a bit brighter
and you help me feel pretty again
even though I'll never agree

Chorus

End: you've made me feel better
you've recovered all that I assumed was lost
you've mended my broken thoughts
and I'll try to trust you, sweetheart
and I'll love you with everything I have, I hope you don't mind

Title: Attempt

Wrapped up, in each of your lies
the way you just casually tell them to me
and you say I'm meant to trust you?

you give me the sweet talk
with words like honey
drizzled in softly spoken heart ache
and I can't help but wonder if it's really you that's saying it
because I've heard it too many times from too many lovers lips

I know that I've got a lot I need to learn
I know that it's me that needs to change
but you must admit, my dearest love
that you don't really help me at all
I'm always unsure and doubtful of the way you feel
of the way you keep everything a secret
of the way you never tell me what's going on


Chorus: I'm ever so ambitious
to think that you really do care
I'm ever so suspicious
I create situations in my mind that I know will occur
and I can't believe that you are still here
how long will it take before you leave?
I'm ever so delirious
to think that it's me you want
to think that it's me you love


I'm attempting to better myself
and I hope you appreciate me for doing so
and I'm improving every flaw that is sewn together with hopeful thoughts
I hope you never hurt me like the first
I hope you never let me down
I don't think you realise how much I lost and sacrificed for the last man



the way you talk when we're together
but the words you say when we're apart
they're intertwined with confusion
and it makes me question each thing that's left your lips
I don't think you realise how much you mess me around


Chorus


I want to try and make it better
but I don't think you'll love me much longer
I want to try and be less bitter
but I don't think you'll stick around


Chorus


End: I'll try my upmost best
to always be in your good books
because then maybe you'll see a future with less grey clouds
and maybe I'll trust the way you speak and trust the love you took

Title: First Priority

I long to come alive, to never be alone
I'd do anything to call your name
to understand you better
to be able to just simply hold you
to be able to just simply love you better


whenever, wherever you need me to be
I'll try my upmost best to let you come closer, to get closer to me
whatever it takes to get to know this love better
to know myself again


this is the interlude
the loudness of comfortable silence
and the way that I move whenever you're present
the way my mind stops thinking

Chorus: you make me feel whole again,
like this is all i've ever needed
I'd give it all just to hold you tighter
I'd give it all just to hold you closely
I'll happily die in your arms tonight
knowing that this feels so right
that I am whole again
that you fixed me


if you want me to go,
I'll leave
there's no way that I'll ever hurt you
I just want you to be mine, and mine only
in the same way that I am yours
x2


I'll take care of you, you know that
you'll always be my first priority
and I will always dream of you


Chorus


End: you already mean so much, more than you'll ever appreciate
with your arms around my waist, there really is no better place
and this is the interlude
the loudness of our comfortable silence


and I'll do anything to keep you wanting me