Title: Self repulse. Written By: Eleanor Diplock

I've always tried my best
spending my days walking away from the spaces between us
I've always been second best
it's something that came along with a temperament I got from my father
I used to look out upon happiness,
I never seemed to search any further than beneath the sheets,
But you're all I was searching for
And you're all I searched for

Chorus: I question any belief I have in myself,
I've always strayed too far from the sea
in fear of meeting someone else
I'm always like this,
indecisive and repulsive
I'll always be like this
another face you'll never good enough to be with

I ought to be better to myself
but since being with you I've no reason to be
I've no shadow that haunts my body
Every day has become a chore
I've no warmth, not even close to my core
and I'm
oh so repulsive
self-repulsive
I look down at myself
from a lower state of mind

Chorus

I'm not one for intimacy,
never had my fair share,
you've always had more experience,
another thing I'd wish I'd of seen
Oh and I'm so repulsive

Chorus


Ending:
Self repulse,
if there was a faith I knew well I'd believe in it
but I'd rather swim through the lies you feed me with
and I'm happier this way,
repulsive at best
I'm a liar to be saying I was ever happy with myself.
Second best is all I'll ever be aware of.